Living single is tough – When I began the road of healing from past bad relationships, I realized just HOW unhealthy my pursuits were.
One particular weekend, I was hanging at someone’s apartment pursuing yet another “unattainable”. I was just looking for the opportunity to hang out, be near, be close and edge out anyone else who might be there for the same thing (he had a couple of girls after him at the time).
Now, Balaam’s story is here.. but basically: there was an angel of the Lord sent to Balaam and the donkey he was riding saw it, but he didn’t.. so the donkey got out of the way, Balaam got angry. Three times the donkey did this and Balaam finally GOT IT when the donkey says in verse 28, “What have I done to make you hit me three times?” They have a dialogue and then Balaam sees the angel of the Lord on the road. Whoops..
So, on this particular weekend, I needed a ride home. I have no idea how I even got there but at any rate, I was milling around waiting for whats-his-face to get stuck into taking me home. Well, there was another guy there too. We’ll call him Joe. Joe was overweight, smoker, owned a porno shop (or managed it, not sure on that one) and was just rough around the edges. He and I never had much interaction although I ran into him a lot during parties that I invited myself into. Joe offered to take me home and in my absolute inability to say no to anyone – I agreed and got into his van.
Now, let me tell you – this wasn’t just any van. We’re talking a big, scary, white “hey little girl can you help me find my puppy” van.
He drove me home and when we arrived, I thanked him for the ride and proceeded to get out. He stopped me by saying, “hold on a minute, I have something to say..” Uh oh, I thought. Here it comes. He likes me or something, he’s going to want something from me. Ick, ugh!
He asked, “What’s the most important thing to you in your life?”
“Well”, I replied, “my son of course!” (Like, duh dude, I have a kid remember?)
He spat back, “Then why don’t you start f*cking acting like it?” And he proceeded to give me a lecture about how I had been behaving, how he’d been watching me pursue this particular guy and a couple of others and how this wasn’t good for my son. (wow, didn’t realize people actually KNEW what I was doing.)
Here’s the deal: Joe was not THE thing that made me turn my life around but he opened my eyes and he was one part of a long string of things that lead me to where I am now. God gave a donkey a voice to help Balaam open his eyes and God showed up by using the most unlikely of characters to open mine.
Who is in your life – holding all the signs and signals for you to stop your bad behavior, your sin, your vice..? Or, who was one person that stepped in and spoke into your life unexpectedly?