Monthly Archives: January 2012

What are your rights?

Tonight’s random post has been inspired by a message heard from Pete Wilson at Cross Point Church in Nashville.

So many custody or divorce proceedings are littered with bitter and hateful words, actions and ammo.

I use the word ammo because so many hurt people are trying to hurt the other person at the same level as they feel hurt.

There has to be an end point though, an end game where we make a CHOICE to deal with our hurt in a healthy and positive way without trying to harm that other person. We have to choose to forgive.

Now, forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. However, what it does mean is that you release the right to hurt them back. Hurting them won’t change the pain that we carry from the harm they inflicted upon us. Forgiveness will. Hurting them won’t make them “see the light”. Forgiveness will.

There are some pains out there that I could never imagine and many that I could. I am also a far far cry from perfect when it comes to forgiveness. However hearing the words of a message tonight on forgiveness has caused me to do a temperature check on where my heart is for the hurt I am carrying.

Have I forgiven…truly, or am I just saving up to hurt them back? What about you?

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…if they walked in.


Not sure how my thoughts jumped on this train tonight. However, it did and here I am.

I wore my People of the Second Chance tee shirt recently when someone asked me, “What does that mean?” and I tried to explain using words like “radical grace” and “forgiveness” and I was almost balked at. Like what I had said didn’t make an impact. Well, it didn’t because the person I spoke to didn’t quite understand the true feeling of forgiveness. If I was honest, neither did I.

Then someone posted on Twitter (or I read it somewhere or heard it on the radio): If the person you say you’ve forgiven walks into the room, can you show them love? If the answer is no, you have not forgiven them.

If your ex walked into the room right now, could you show or, at minimum, have love in your heart for them?

Not for what they’ve done.

Not for what they haven’t done.

For them.

Can you?

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